Thursday, November 20, 2014

Day 217: How Too Much Thinking Causes Headaches

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Today I listened to a really interesting audio recording from EQAFE on the brain and how we create headaches due to thinking.

Is it really amazing and fascinating at the same time to listen to how we are basically the creators of our headaches, that it is from our own participation, acceptance and allowance of thoughts from deep-seated emotions that create such pains within our own brains to the extent that our body communicates to us through headaches.

We so easily take a pill and get on with our life, but the more we allow this, the more this issue, or point that is deeply suppressed within comes out again, either through more headaches, or other consequences within our bodies.

So I saw how I have conditioned myself to basically take medicine or natural medicinal support for my body whenever a headache would strike. Now since listening to the audio recording I have knowledge on the steps to take to actually heal and treat a headache for good.

In a way I am ''looking forward'' to when a headache comes again to walk the path suggested to see for myself what I can find and discover of me that I've been suppressing/hiding so I can understand and clear the point finally, that way when I face a similar point in the future I can apply the immediate correction before a headache starts. I will definitely share with you all about my findings!

This is going to be a short blog, but I do recommend you check this recording out if you are interested in learning more about how thinking effects the brain and how to heal your headache without medicine. 





Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Day 216: Resistance to Letting Go of Stress

Continuation from:
The Fear that Drives my Stress in Work

So today I saw I was stressed, and within me I saw that I should walk forgiveness, and that I can walk forgiveness on this point, but then this belief backchat of ''it's not going to work,'' comes up followed with an experience/feeling of not wanting to do it, because I projected me doing it/saying the SF and it not completely working, and I have believed it, and I know that I am not honest and genuine within saying SF because I saw I was in the emotional experience and I knew that to get me out of the emotional experience to say SF but I didn't want to, I had resistance. I didn't see there to be a point to walk the SF. I saw it as an obligatory thing to do.

If I look at it, if I were to walk SF within the experience I would not want to because I would want to stay in that stress-experience of working because I think and believe it keeps me alert and going. I am afraid to lose my ability to work and to get things done to the best of my ability without this stress. So that is why I didn't want to walk SF.

So my relationship to me with SF is misaligned. Looking at who I am within that stress experience, I like being in that state because I feel like I am working hard, it gives me or makes me feel like I have purpose with being so determined and working within what I do. I don't want to let that experience go because I am afraid I will not be able to work as much or with that determination and focus as before. I project that with walking SF on the stress, I have an idea/expectation that it will all go away and thus I will be so relaxed and calm I will not have that determination, stress and focus within getting the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I ''should'' walk self-forgiveness when I see myself stressed instead of realizing that self-forgiveness is a decision I make within the moment where I don't allow myself to tell me what I should or should not do but simply make the decision and agreement within myself to DO/WALK self forgiveness whenever an emotional reaction comes up within me WITHOUT expectations or ideas about what MAY HAPPEN when I walk self forgiveness because I realize that self forgiveness is an unraveling where I will discover or find insights, realizations and/or solutions that wouldn't come forth if I stayed within an emotional state, so thus it is essential to simply allow myself to when I say/speak self-forgiveness to do it within the starting point of forgiving myself of accepting and allowing myself to participate and become equal and one to an energy/mind consciousness point instead of standing equal and one to the physical, as Life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand equal and one to my decisions within becoming and acting and living the real process of forgiving myself whenever an emotion or feeling as consciousness comes up

I commit myself to realign myself with self-forgiveness, where self-forgiveness becomes a part of me and my every day life and living so that whenever an emotional/feeling reaction or movement comes up within me I act immediately within correction of forgiving myself of the energetic experience, so I realize that to become and live self-forgiveness absolutely takes practice and consistency

I commit myself to start now in this moment, practice acting in the moment whenever an emotion/feeling or energetic experience comes up within me, that I forgive myself without expectations or ideas or projections of what may come or how I may feel after – to such ideas go and stay here in the moment and trust myself that the insights, realizations and solutions will come the more I become self-honest with myself in the moment, forgiving myself in becoming the mind consciousness point existent within me and realign myself back to earth/physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have allowed myself to create a personality within myself where I ''tell'' myself what I should or should not do according to waking my process instead of becoming the directive principle of BECOMING the decision of immediately walking the correction process of forgiving myself when I am stressed

I commit myself to identify, bring up, unravel and change this process-personality of telling myself what I should or should not do within walking process through self-honest writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and to align myself into walking this process in self-honesty, without polarity of ''should and should nots''

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear forgiving myself and letting go of the stress when I am stressed because I am afraid that if I let go of the stress then I won't be able to be so determined and focus as I usually am when I am working hard and from this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not re-define the words ''Determined'' and ''Focused'' so I may live these words in my life without the stress or energetic/consciousness influence within my work

I commit myself to redefine for me the words ''Determined'' and ''Focused'' so I may live these words within my work/the work that I do

I realize that self-forgiveness will not assist me if my starting point to begin with is misaligned where who I am is not willing to forgive because I don't want to forgive because I am holding onto a point or idea, where I don't want to let go of it because I am afraid of losing a part of that stress, that is who I am within my work

I commit myself to understand this fear of not letting go of the stress through self-honest writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and give in to the thought that self-forgiveness is not going to work, creating a resistance or experience within me where I do not want to walk self-forgiveness, because I realize if I really do believe and think that I am this thought of ''self-forgiveness is not going to work'' I am actually going to create a resistance or wall for myself towards walking self-forgiveness, thus I see, realize and understand that I am creating the actual resistance to walking self-forgiveness while I'm stressed by saying to myself – and believing to myself-- ''self forgiveness is not going to work, '' so essentially trapping myself in this belief

So within this, I realize a few points: One is that if who I am is within the starting point of not wanting to walk self-forgiveness or release the point of stress within me, self-forgiveness is not going to work and I am not going to walk it. Then, when I give in, believe, become, and participate in the thought ''self forgiveness is not going to work'' I am actually creating that resistance to self-forgiveness the more I say, think and believe it and from that, not want to walk self-forgiveness. SO, I am really the creator of my own experiences.

When and as I see myself say to myself or think ''self-forgiveness is not going to work'' I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in the thought because I realize I do not want to give in and become this thought or else I will create a wall of resistance where I will not want to walk self-forgiveness, where the process to walk self-forgiveness will become harder the more I give in, participate and believe in such a thought, so I commit myself to stop, breathe and not allow myself to give or participate in the thought but instead ''Catch'' this point for myself where the mind is trying to grab my attention to become this thought so I can remain trap and not release myself from the mind

More on this to come, thanks for reading!


(Image Source)


Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Friday, November 7, 2014

Day 215: The Fear that Drives My Stress in Work

I am working on a project currently and my stress levels have been very high. Who I am within and walking this project has been stressed, and I see it beneficial to actually write out the problem so I can find a solution for myself. I do see that it is a personality pattern I'm holding onto and existing as, but it needs to be deprogrammed because it is causing stress within me and my body where my breathing becomes shallow, my chest constricts and I pressure myself into expectations of what needs to be done within a certain period of time instead of actually walking this project step by step, stopping projections and just being here.

This requires me to re-define and walk the word PATIENCE as well as understanding this personality-system more. So let me start.

I react in fear towards the idea that this project needs to be completed today, but this is actually irrational because this project is large and thus requires a lot of time to build. Then I have this idea that I cannot relax, I need to be stressed about this because I'm afraid if I relax my job will not be completed to the level or extent I think/believe it would be if I were stressed. This comes from an idea of when I was in school around middle school age when I would work for hours on a school project, constantly focused and in a state of stress and really thinking that that is what drives me to do my best. One example is that in high school during lunch I realized a paper for Spanish class was due next class so within the 45 minutes I had I typed up a complete paper and got an A on it. So from there I thought and believed that I can do good on these projects IF I remain in a certain state of mind, which in my case, is a particular form of STRESS.

The stress is specific. It is like a constant focus, a drive within that comes from a fear, fear of losing out, and I do not let me take a break unless it's bathroom or food, but I am in a 'zone' or state of mind where I am driven by this fear and push as this stress to do my best work.

This way of working, while stressed, can really push an individual to do many things, however, the stress and pressure from the mind involved in the body is not supportive. So how can I create a relationship to the work I do to make it stress-free and also do my best work without that energy of fear? I first need to de-program this point, so here is Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards the idea that my project needs to be completed today because of the fear that if it isn't than someone else's project similar to mine might come into manifestation/fruition and be better

When and as I see myself react in fear to the idea that I must finish my project today/soon, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in the fear because I realize that this project needs to be walked step by step and will be built through time to become a project with my work imvolved, thus I realize this project will take time and will not be done in a day or week, but will take an accumulation of days and work for it to be substantial

I commit myself to walk this project step by step, one point at a time, breathing through and letting go/forgiving any fears or ideas that come up towards this point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear another's project may be 'better' than mine because I fear losing out in having more attention, fame, and money instead of realizing my starting point is more geared towards self-interest instead of genuine intent of doing this project for me in assisting and supporting me to expand within who I am and what I do

When ans as I see myself go into fearing another's project to be or eventually become better than mine, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back to the reason why I started this project, that it is a project I want to do for me and others to better assist those in the country I am living in, thus I commit myself to forgive/let go of desires of my project becoming the best because I realize then my whole starting point is in competition/fear and not genuine support, so I commit to practice sticking to my starting point of doing this project for/as me instead of others/in separation of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire so much to be famous and to have a lot of money with my project so I can feel comfortable and safe with my life, knowing that I have enough money to buy whatever I may need to fit my needs and desires so I don't live a life in fear and survival

When and as I see myself desire to be famous and to have enough money to live comfortably, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in the desire as I realize it is coming from a fear of survival, so I commit myself to remind myself of my financial stability/that I have all I need and to stop allowing myself to go off in thoughts of worry and fear of not being able to make enough or have enough money since I see I do have enough to live comfortably at this stage

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I need to move fast with this project or else I won't be able to gain the attention and possible profit I may get if I were to be slow with it or not get it by the end of the week instead of realizing that I fear losing money and oppurtunites that 'could have been' if I have just gotten them done sooner

When and as I see myself desire to move FAST because I fear losing out on an opportunity that can bring me wealth and/or fame, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in this fear because I realize it is a program to keep me in a continuous state of stress and I realize that does not help me or my body, so I commit myself to simply work on the project for/as me in self-enjoyment and expansion and embrace any oppurtunites that may come, not think or wish about them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear finding out that my project is not good enough or not completed in enough time because another has created an even better project than me and recieves the attention, fame and money that I have wanted with this and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing out on an opportunity of attention, fame and money

When and as I see myself fear or project another having or creating a better project than me and receiving more attention/fame/money than me, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in fear or projections of this point since I realize they do nothing but drive me into stress and competition, so from this I commit myself to stop giving in or feeding into projections or fears of someone doing a better job on the project than me and focus on this project is assisting and supporting myself to expand in my skills and awareness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not take into consideration the many other individuals involved with similar projects as me, many of them coming before me and already having successful projects publicly available and praised and within this I see a desire is existent within me where I want to be at the 'top' so I am the 'best' because I want to feel 'safe' with where I'm at in terms of financial stability

I commit myself to remain humble within my project-process by focusing on expanding my skills

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myslf to see, realize and understand how I exist within a fear of losing money or not having enough money and fearing that the money I ask to borrow or recieve from another will go away

I commit myself to investigate the fear of losing money, not having enough money and fearing the money I ask to borrow from or receive will go away through self-honesty, writing and self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to a memory where I waited in line for several hours to buy concert tickets with a huge desire and stress to getting really good seats only to realize after waiting in line so long they don't take credit card so I had to go to the machine and take out cash, thus losing my opportunity to get good seats at the concert I really wanted to go to and having to wait back in line again and then finding out they only had lawn seats available, and within this --

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so angry, incredibly angry at not getting what I wanted because of not having the information or knowledge that the box office only accepts cash because I was stressed to begin with seeing all the people in line, and even projecting and imagining all the other girls my age standing in line for tickets and how it is such a competition to get good seats and how it's 'not fair' I couldn't get good seats after waiting in line for so long and wanting so badly to get good seats so I could be close to my favorite singer. I see, realize and understand that because I lost my oppurtunity to be 'first' and get really good seats compared to other girls, I really reacted in anger because my whole starting point was to be first so I could get the best seat, and within this I see, realize and understand I had been angry over the fact I was stressing out over something beyond my control in that I cannot have my desires manifest the way I want them to, I must take reality into consideration and that thousands of girls were probably in my situation, wanting the best seat at the concert and waiting several hours in line to get them, so even if I were first or in the beginning of the line does not mean I will get better seats than other girls around the country also in lines. I realize that this entire world system lives and breathes competition, it is what we have programmed ourselves in because of FEAR of LOSING OUT/MISSING OUT/NOT SURVIVING

I commit myself to understand and find solutions to stopping the competition that exists within me since I realize it comes from fears of losing out/missing out/survival and thus I allow it to drive me into stress and acting out in certain ways towards my work and what I do.

I also see, realize and understand there is a drive within me of COMPETITION, of wanting to be the BEST and getting to things FIRST, because if you are FIRST you are the BEST and at THE TOP. So, I can see this drive and stress within is from competition, wanting to have the best project, fearing to lose out on opportunities.

Funny how I associate being competitive to being a male, so not wanting to acknowledge or identify within myself this 'competitive streak' within me of wanting to be the best/be at the top. Fascinating this opened up!

More to be continued. Thanks for reading.


(Image Source)




Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Day 214: The Problem with Alcohol at Parties

I got invited to a party the other day and I was really looking forward to checking it out there. It was going to be my first party here in Vienna and I was going to meet many internationals also living in this city. I was also able to bring my partner with me which was cool.

When I got there I noticed that the party was basically held in a restaurant with many tables and chairs set up with a bar but no dance floor. So basically everyone there was simply talking and drinking alcohol, and that was it.

I see it as a shame that we as humanity allow ourselves to set up and participate in these parties where we all resort to drinking alcohol because that is how we see 'fun' but I don't see fun as that. I see fun at parties as being able to be oneself, express oneself with others, dance around, have interesting conversations with people without being influenced by alcohol, but we have over time programmed and conditioned ourselves throughout our history as humans in this world/society to connect alcohol to 'fitting in,' 'having fun' or 'partying' while we suppress our own expression within this substance. In fact we can feel paralyzed/fearful around others and unable to be ourselves at parties/gatherings, that is why we give into alcohol to either 'help' us in loosening ourselves up/being relaxed within who we are, or bring out a more rambunctious outgoing side that we normally suppress in our day to day living.

This is why I find education on how to be able to be ourselves/bring out our self-expression around others and at parties without the need for alcohol/external substance is important because then we are directive principles, being able to be okay with ourselves, decide who we are and how we want to be/live in our lives instead of allowing a substance to decide for us or influence who we should be, feel and do. In this regard, one can take the  Desteni I Process 'Lite' course or go on the Desteni Forum to help one establish an awareness of becoming directive principle of your life.

I know me and my partner are a very rare couple compared to the many other couples and individuals in this world at parties because of our choice to not drink alcohol. We understand the impact and influence it has to not only our minds, but our bodies. If it is suggested or mandatory to order some drink at a party or dinner I order a non-alcohol drink like a fruit juice with soda water (it's quite delicious, give it a shot sometime).


Here are some blogs in relation to the effects of alcohol on the mind and body and how to support yourself to stop the habit/addiction:

One Year of NO ALCOHOL
Alcohol, Drugs and Demon Possession
My Addiction to Alcohol, Sleeping Meds and Porn
Alcohol is the Corporate Psychologist
Where Does Your Responsibility Go When You're Drunk?
Zero Point and Other Points - Alcohol 
Alcohol and Humanity -- Intelligence?

Google Hangout Video:
What They Didn't Tell You About Alcohol Addiction!

Forum Thread:
The Design of Alcohol

Interviews:
Alcohol in New Relationships
Alcohol Poisoning
Life Review: Words, Behavior, Alcohol
Death Research: Words, Behavior, Alcohol


''I have not had alcohol for a year and a bit more now, I have gone to a bar with friends and people from my past, and I just drank seltzer water and ice. They ask 'what, you don't drink anymore? why not?' in great shock, this amused me somewhat, but also, I realize that this is just programmed behavior. We are so programmed to see people drinking, having alcohol be accepted as the way to relax and enjoy friends as it's on every other commercial and pushed in tv and movies, but really if we have a self honest look, it's just a way for corps. to make money while we go to shit. Many deaths are caused, people go out of control, no common sense is practiced, and its really all just bullshit and not needed. I realized I could be an example to show we don't need to drink to enjoy here, alcohol is not needed to have a good time, and it can be stopped. I suggest use what has been said in this thread to write out self honestly why you drink. Drinking alcohol is an abuse to life and does nothing to support what is here and what is best for all.'' --Garbrielle on the Desteni Forum




Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Day 213: The Tendency of Beating Yourself Up

Continuation from: Day 212: A Childhood Mistake
''And it's interesting this point of having done something so 'bad' connecting killing something or someone as really bad, is coming from morality and how I grew up with family values based in religion and morality where it is 'so bad' if someone kills someone, but I see it as defining that person as 'bad' as a bad person, instead of understanding that person/who they are that led them to killing, but to bring it back to the point, I defined myself as being really bad, beating myself up because I had killed my fish, I had made a bad mistake, I had done something really bad, and this I see is a point I've been existent in for quite some time, all of my life basically where I have had the tendency to really beat myself up, not want to forgive myself when I make mistakes. Like really harsh within me. ''

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beat myself up and use the point of having made a serious mistake to be a reason why I should beat myself up/punish me instead of taking this mistake as a lesson for me to learn from, not DEFINE myself as it and move on

When and as I see myself make a mistake and about to go into or immediately go into the energy/behavior of beating myself up, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in this self-destructive behavior as it does not but perpetuate self-abuse, but instead I question myself what can I learn from this, what dimension within this did I not see/miss? and then assist and support myself to take note of this mistake and see how I can use this mistake as prevention for the future, like taking the mistake and asking myself what I can do if I walk into a similar situation, how can I stop myself from making the same mistake again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into self hate and shame for having made a mistake instead of realizing this is a personality I have created where I want things to be perfect and when I make a serious mistake or do something that doesn't match up to what I want/expect in relation to being perfect, I go into self-hate, anger and punishment.

I commit myself to investigate this personality-tendency of beating myself up for mistakes through writing, and self-forgiveness since I realize I have created, accepted and allowed this behavior in myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that life in equality and oneness does not exist in hate, or punishment, because this world as it exists now exists in just that, and what is here in this world as a mirror of me is not best for all, thus it is my responsibility to stop the self-hate, the self-abuse, self-punishment within and become part of the life-cycle where one treats and cares for one the way one wants to be treated

I commit myself to become part of the Life-Cycle through identifying problems and points that exist within me that is not best for me/all and actually harms life and use the self-empowerment tools of self-honesty, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to change and correct myself so I become and live in a way best for all

One dimension that stands out in this regard of beating myself up or going into self-hate after making a mistake, such as for example having accidentally killing my fish, is that this may be in relation to my zodiac sign of being a Virgo, where it's per-programmed within me to want to be a perfectionist and not to be happy or satisfied unless everything goes as planned. That making mistakes is something Virgo's don't like, lol.

In the next blog I will investigate my relationship to the word MISTAKE. Thanks for reading.


(Image Source)



Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools