Today my partner and I went shopping for pillows and pillowcases. We found our pillows and then found a really soft, silky pillowcase that we really liked and wanted to get. We saw that the only way to purchase the pillowcase was to get it through as package which included the bed sheet too. However, once we saw the price my partner became iffy/uncertain to get it.
From there what happened was that I went into a reaction because I wanted to get this set/package because how I saw it was that we both really wanted it originally and that we could afford it. However, a flood of reactions came through because my husband wasn't on the same page as me -- he actually was looking at whether it is worth it to buy a pillow set like this at the price it was at.
From this, we both become reactive because we weren't on the same page when it came to purchasing/not purchasing the pillow set. And in our relationship we have that tendency to react easily when it comes to money because we both grew up in different environments and different ways of working with money. For me, for example, coming from a family who would use the credit card a lot and become a little careless about spending whereas my partner's family come from a mindset of saving every penny, and only buying necessities. So, money is certainty an issue and process we are both walking...
However, to get to my point, we were both obviously not on the same page and reactive. What I realized was that this would only continue (us being reactive and not coming to a solution/answer about the pillowcase point) unless we really talk this out and come up with a practical solution. But what I saw was that I could not get to that point of talking to my partner in stability, I knew what I had to do -- I need to apply Self-Forgiveness and release myself of the emotions, otherwise I would end up speaking from/as reactions.
So I took a break from my partner and spoke Self-Forgiveness under my breath. As I spoke I realized I had such a huge desire to get this pillowcase and was angry my partner was not fulfilling this desire to immediately buy it. I was in self-interest, only considering my want and not what would be best for us. Once I was stable and okay, I went back to my partner and shared with him what I realized. From there on our communication became stable and we were both cool with the decision we made.
So, I'd like to share that when it comes to not being on the same page with your partner and you need to solve a problem, to first apply self-forgiveness on your reactions towards the point and this allows common sense to open up within it and then you can share and work with your partner in finding a practical solution for the both of you. Self-Forgiveness is so cool, give it a shot sometime.
Thanks for reading.
Additional support with communication in relationships:
|VIDEO: Communication in Relationships|
Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs: Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite: Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest