Saturday, May 2, 2015

230. Insights about Alzheimer's

I watched the movie Still Alice in preparation for my participation in the Desteni Movie Night Hangout with Joana and Marlen.

One of the first points that came up for me while watching the movie was what would I do if I knew I have early-onset Alzheimers?  If I knew I had limited time to remember certain people, knowledge and information, memories of my life I would write as much as I could down either on a notebook or in a blog to record what I found most important. What I find most important to note down is life lessons I've had, realizations and insights I've found of myself and the world,  regrets I have, and anything else that I think would benefit others to learn from me since all would be fading away soon. So I would basically want to create a legacy for people, something in which they can take my words of ''wisdom'' so to speak in which they can use it to improve or better their lives.

Then I would find ways in which I could somehow assist and support me during the Alzheimers.Because I know it can be very stressful dealing with the disease, I would like to somehow prepare the people around me to show me or read me certain material from Desteni if I end up having an emotional breakdown when I have that disease for example. Because I won't be able to remember the information on how to forgive myself in that moment, maybe the people around me can do that for me -- walk and support me with helpful information in that moment (this is similar to what Marlen shared in the Hangout where she supported another with the Alzheimer's disease).

Another point that came up while watching the movie was who would I be if my partner would have Alzheimers? Because in the movie Alice's husband started to drift away from her, and this bugged me a lot.  Those who have Alzheimers need people closest to them to support them with daily tasks and responsibilities. I would like to think I'd be there unconditionally for my partner 100% because I care about them and would not want them to suffer or struggle. However, even despite them not having Alzheimers right now I am faced with the reality of who I am as a partner daily through my interactions with them and can say I am not yet satisfied as making the absolute statement I am the best partner I can be for them because of the extent to the thoughts, memories and reactions I am aware I still require to sort through, align and correct.

While I do suggest you watch the movie Still Alice, also take a listen to EQAFE's recording on Alzheimers and what actually contributes to the development of the disease.

What in the mind-physical relationship create/manifest the consequence of Alzheimer’s?

What does the existence of Alzheimer’s say about the extent of the dependency on the mind-physical relationship? 
How does the mind, influence/affect the fabric of the physical to manifest Alzheimer’s?

Also, Joana and Marlen share cool insights and techniques with me in the Hangout for those who have family or friends with the illness.




Thanks for reading. See you next time!


(Image Source)


Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
8Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

229. Generalizing Cultural Groups

In this 8 minute talk I share a realization I had about generalizing cultural groups and how the starting point of my words can have an influence on the outcome of my interactions with people.



Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships - See more at: http://michellesjourneytolife.blogspot.co.at/#sthash.57e1WQOh.dpuf

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

228. My Relationship with Alcohol - Part 1

I've been receiving invitations to events where it is encouraged to drink alcohol with people. Like for example being invited to a travel company party held at a local bar.  One insecurity is the fear people are going to judge me as strange for not drinking with them and this will prevent me from getting opportunities through them simply because ''I don't fit in.'' Within this I see it's not just about me not drinking alcohol, it's WHO I AM when I'm around others and my attitude toward not drinking alcohol.

People say they feel more relaxed and confident when they drink, and of course I'd like to be that -- relaxed and comfortable in who I am/in my skin. But people resort to alcohol to get into this experience. I want to be able to attend these events and order a non-alcoholic drink and be comfortable and confident with me, interacting with new people. So it really isn't about the alcohol, it's more being confident and comfortable in me and with what I stand for.

Some time ago a young woman asked me ''you don't drink alcohol?!'' and within that I felt insecure about this point, believing that I'm weird for not drinking and from that have justified I am a ''rarity,'' in a shameful, embarrassed manner, as if I didn't make the decision myself but that something or someone told me not to drink. Thus I found out I have been in conflict with knowledge/information of the harmful effects of alcohol and the desire to fit in and feel confident by drinking alcohol. So this is what I will work on --my relationship with alcohol, because I want to continue in my stand of not drinking it but I must work through my memories and points in order to stand in my decision 100% without any emotional movement (fear, anxiety, etc) in me.

To be continued.

(Photo Credit)

Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships

Monday, April 6, 2015

227. Expressing and Standing in my Words

Continuation from:
Day 224: To become a Leader...  
Day 225: Fear of Being Disliked
Day 226: Who am I if I Just Want to Please Others?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so afraid about expressing myself and who I am really in front of others because I am afraid to be judged and criticized, thus indicating to me that I have yet to be able to stand in my own shoes and be able to stand within what I express/speak, because I realize if I am really 100% absolute in what I speak of and stand for, and am that exactly, then others words should not influence/effect me because I would know who I am

I commit myself to investigate the memories, thoughts and emotions that are hindering/preventing me from being able to stand within who I am and what I stand for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of speaking to friends about politics and how the world is really not a great place, that there is some serious shit we as humanity need to fix because I am afraid they are going to counter act or fight against what I speak and share because of memories of family members speaking up against what I have found in this world

I commit myself to walk through the memories and fears I have of when my mom and I got into a conflict after something I had intimatly expressed with her because I realize I found it to really be a vulnerable part of me that I hadn't expressed with my mom before and did but then took her reactions/responses to what I've shared personally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about solutions to the world system to my mother because I fear she not agreeing with me, and actually making me feel like I'm dumb and stupid, not realizing only I can make myself feel that way, that I can only make me believe and feel stupid for speaking up

I commit myself to realize that what I stand for -- which is a solution of creating a world best for all, which starts with changing the money system, is going to take a lot of courage and guts to stick with and stand for this since it goes against many people's programming and thoughts about how the world works, but because I know it is the only way to really bring a world best for all, it is my responsibility as a human being to make sure that I am clear with what I stand for, to be that +1 of support, so that whatever anyone says to me I do not crumble into criticism or judgement, but stand with who I am and what I support

I do stand for a money system where all are taken care of, where all are provided enough financially to live comfortable lives. Of course that is not what we have today and many people may actually disagree with having such a system, but I would like one, and it takes courage to stand up for something like this because it is new, it is different, and is something that will make big differences in the lives of others, I simply can see that I have fears of hearing others words of disagreement and judgement towards what I stand for

Within this, I realize that the criticism, judgements and fears I'm afraid people are to say to me, like me being dumb or stupid for supporting such a cause/group/way is because I have personal connections, memories and associations to the words dumb and stupid, where I allow those words to really affect me and thus I require to redefine them, so from this, I commit myself to redefine the words DUMB and STUPID

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having others shut me down and criticize me, mocking me for what I stand for, not realizing I have yet to build the strength within me to be able to NOT allow others words get to me, and that this indicates that I require more education and understanding to strengthen and build myself and my stance so that when or if others ask questions, or criticize or judge what I have shared/expressed I have information and/or preparation on how to direct myself in such situations

I commit myself to assist and support me to build inner strength within what I stand and do, and I first do this by writing out what I stand for, and then work with how to stand with what I stand for and prepare myself for any back lash or conflict from others on my expression by understanding my weaknesses first so that I turn my weaknesses into strengths

Within this, I see, realize and understand I simply need to educate myself more on what exactly I stand for, and walk through any fears, emotions, and thoughts I have towards what others may think or say about what I stand for, to prepare myself and give myself direct on what I will do and say when/if situations of conflict or discussion occur, where I express myself completely within consideration of my words, behavior and interaction with others, so I do not compromise myself and stick to what I see is self-honest and best for all in the moment

I commit myself to educate myself more on my mind, the mind consciousness system in general, and solutions to our global money system so that I have more knowledge and information to support me in my decisions of where I stand and what I stand for


(Image Source)



Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships

Monday, March 16, 2015

226. Who Am I if I Just Want to Please Others?

Continuing from:
Day 224: To become a Leader...
Day 225: Fear of Being Disliked

I read through my previous blog and saw how easily I have connected talking to women to wanting to become friends with them, and giving value into that point, like when I talk to other women around my age or those I connect with, there is this desire to become friends with them or have a close relationship-friendship with them. I am also considering this may be in relation to fear of being alone, but that is a separate point I will look into later.

I attended a meeting and met three women I haven't seen in a few days and there was the desire to have them like me. I can see I was afraid they were going to judge me and from that judgement not like me if I did not keep up with a smile and nice words.

What if for example they didn't like me?

To imagine this scenario, I can see I would be very concerned and worried cause I would want to know WHY they don't like me. Why do I care about WHY they don't like me? Because maybe I could change or learn something about how I am around people that I may need to use when I walk into social situations with other women, cause I want to make sure that when I interact with others that what I am doing and saying is okay and will be accepted and approved in the group.

So here I can see a few points: One is that behind the worry and concern I want to create and change myself into someone who is perfect in every way so that whoever I talk to, I speak and express in a way that will create an outcome where they will like me, entirely, within everything I say and do.

Now looking at this point, that is so unrealistic. Even if I were to be self-honest, and do what I see is best, and speak in common sense, I may trigger some movements or reactions in others and so, those reactions and movements are for self to take responsibility for, and that they may not like me for that, for triggering points in them.

The point I see here is that I would want to shape myself according to what I think and perceive would please other people, but my god, then where am I in this equation? Meaning, if my intention is to be someone that pleases another, then I don't even give myself the space to express me when I speak to others, but that I communicate to others based on how I think they would want me to communicate and be to them. So I would be giving up my self expression just to please or benefit other's and their minds. I can see how I have existed in this point for most of my life, is this tendency to change and shape myself and my words in a way so that people will like me, or that I will please them and their minds enough where they will see me in a positive way/light.

So now comes my question is how to be me when I am around others? To express and be me and share my words and common sense, expressing me while taking my words, actions and others into consideration to create an outflow best for all without the fear of other's reactions.


So it's like the age-old question: Who are you?

Who am I if I have been someone who pleases others and shapes myself to please others just so I can avoid conflict, people not liking me, and being alone? Who am I as a leader, expressing and changing myself according to what other people want from me and think of me?

Will continue more in the next blog...


(Image Source)



Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it's Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Rela